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Lana Jones had an accomplished seventeen-year career with The Australian Ballet, eight of which as principal dancer. She danced the lead roles in numerous classics such as Sleeping Beauty, Don Quixote, Giselle, Swan Lake, and Manon, as well as contemporary works by Graeme Murphy, Jiří Kylián, Wayne McGregor and Nacho Duato. She was the recipient of many accolades throughout her career, including an Australian Dance Award, a Green Room Award, and two Helpmann Awards.
Lana now lives in Brisbane with her husband and son. She recently completed her Bachelor of Midwifery with the Australian Catholic University and is currently working as a registered midwife.
Lana Jones: It’s definitely a tough one, and it was kind of a “slow drip” decision - it wasn’t one defining moment, but rather a series of events over time. Each person's experience is unique; I was fortunate in ballet and could have continued dancing indefinitely since I was very strong and resilient. However, I did get worn down and realised I wasn't loving it as much as I used to. My priorities also shifted after I gave birth to my son Velasco, and I wasn't getting the same out of it. I remember standing back in class and watching the younger generation come in with that passion and hunger and realising that I no longer felt the same. I felt like I’d had my time and thought it was their time now. Also, as you get older, you get more nervous, and I wasn't enjoying that part. The fun and love for ballet were not as apparent as they had been, which was difficult to identify.
It's a major decision as it involves a significant part of your life. Ballet has been part of my life for 33 years, so it is like saying goodbye to a part of you, which takes time. I was trying to ascertain whether these feelings were just part of the ebbs and flows of the workplace or something else. I went to a sports psychologist affiliated with The Australian Ballet who really helped me highlight where these feelings were going. They won't decide for you, but hearing myself talk, I could sense what I was leaning towards. Once I had decided, we actually got pregnant again. That was when I knew what I wanted - I wanted to focus on family and live that life. Unfortunately, we lost the baby. I then had to decide whether to leave quietly or have a proper farewell. I did finish with a big bow out, a grand farewell, which I'm glad about because it's nice to celebrate what you’ve achieved.
Over the years, you slowly see yourself heading in a different direction. If you're no longer happy at work and start finding problems, it might be time to move on. I had to go through a psychological process then, but I was lucky to have my friends in The Australian Ballet and my husband Daniel to rely upon for support. It was an emotional journey, although I'm not always great at acknowledging my feelings - I tend to just push through and keep going. Realising that I perhaps don't love ballet as much as I used to was uncomfortable for me because it was all I'd done, all I knew. It made me question, "Is this still me?”
Going forward, I knew that I wanted to be more dimensional as a person, to push myself, and to push my intelligence. That was a driving force.
When I take a step back to appreciate the good I’ve done, like providing excellent care to a family, I feel really good about it. It validates the struggles and discomfort, making it all worth it.
Lana: Not really. I had always thought about what I could do after ballet. I dabbled a bit in photography and floristry, and while I enjoyed it, it didn't feel like something I could turn into a career. After being in the arts, I was drawn to a more reliable profession, where I could be the constant, which would also allow my husband Daniel, an actor, more freedom.
I had always been interested in nursing, in helping others and doing something that wasn’t about me. This interest solidified when I had my son. I had an incredible midwife and it was a great experience. I also appreciated the physical aspects of midwifery and the understanding it gave me of my body’s capabilities. It showed me what I could achieve when I was mentally strong, listened to my midwife, and followed instructions. So that was a significant incentive for me to pursue this career.
Lana: People often think that there are limited opportunities after ballet - I was certainly under that impression, and also unfortunately given that impression by one of the career transition team members who worked with us at The Australian Ballet. I remember expressing my desire to become a midwife to one woman on the team, who warned me about the numerous bridging courses and exceptionally high marks I would need, implying that I should maybe think about something else. This frightened me, as I had already set my mind on this goal.
When I moved to Queensland after retiring, I gave myself most of the year to find my footing and identity, to figure out who I was without ballet. I then started looking into the entry requirements for ACU and other universities. Many required a science component, which I didn't have, and I knew it would be difficult to have to go through various bridging courses and exams. I'm not particularly academic; I lean more towards creativity and physicality, so I knew it would be challenging.
I wrote to an advisor at ACU about my interest in their Bachelor of Midwifery program. I had completed Year 12 and graduated from The Australian Ballet School with an Advanced Diploma of Dance, for which I received an honours grade. The advisor wrote back to tell me I could pursue almost any degree I wanted to with my qualifications, as that diploma was just one level below a bachelor’s degree. I was surprised that they recognised that existing qualification and accepted me into the program because I expected it to be much harder.
So it was really a question of doing the research and reaching out, and getting over that fear that you have nothing to offer. I had to ascertain which of my skills and characteristics were transferable, such as time management and resilience, which definitely got me through university.
Lana: It was overwhelming. I had no idea what to expect, as my previous education at The Australian Ballet School was more focused on ballet, or perhaps it was a lack of application on my part. Navigating the beast of university and adjusting to student life was quite challenging. That dancer mentality of wanting to be perfect nearly undid me and it still nearly undoes me. I'd go to a lecture and I just thought I had to take down every single piece of information that they were saying. I just couldn’t keep up. Seeing younger students around me effortlessly taking notes on their laptops while I was there struggling with a pen and paper, it felt like I was drowning. I had to find my way and make it work, even through things I had no experience in, like referencing and essay writing. Somehow, I managed to get through it, but I wouldn’t say I enjoy being a student.
It was particularly hard to go from the top of my field to then feeling like I knew nothing. I didn't have any particularly bad experiences, but I often felt inadequate. I constantly set unrealistic expectations for myself and every mistake upset me greatly. My facilitators would try to remind me that a lot of this had to do with my approach to success and learning. I had to learn to turn things around and view mistakes as learning opportunities rather than failures, to turn them into positives. The ballet world is not always a positive kind of environment, so it took many years to unpack this mental state, which I didn’t think was that embedded. While it seems like a natural environment in ballet, this pressure made me so constantly self-critical. I think if I didn't carry that baggage with me, I would have learned faster.
Even now, I still struggle with this. I recently had a challenging shift where I messed up a clinical skill, and I was hard on myself for not being perfect. However, my facilitator reminded me that nothing went wrong and that the patient ended up getting the birth she wanted. She said, “You can only be where you are and learn from it.”
Lana: Yes, I've dealt with self-doubt the whole way through - it’s something I work on on a daily basis, in every shift. I’m not afraid to ask questions because safety is paramount in this job where I’m dealing with life and death. Self-doubt is challenging when you're responsible and accountable for so much, as you can’t “fake it” - you need to know your stuff. However, having the support and mentorship from those around me has helped.
Having that elite sports brain, I understand the importance of goal setting and staying focused. I hope to impart that strength to the women I work with, helping them to stay focused during labour. It surprised me how my experience in ballet transferred to this role.
Lana: Yes, Daniel was definitely surprised. After ballet, which is so intense, a big factor in that next career choice is often work-life balance. But midwifery, particularly as a student, demands so many hours - you’ve got to put the time in. You have to follow so many women through their entire journey, which essentially puts your life on hold for three years. Nobody tells you that when you start.
However, my family and friends have been incredibly supportive. They always encouraged me, saying, "You can do this." I can't count the number of times I called my mum, feeling like I just couldn't do it. This was a new experience for me because, in ballet, I had reached a point where I was experienced and knowledgeable. I felt I had something to contribute to that profession, and I was comfortable with where I was.
Lana: The Australian Ballet has a wonderful fund called the Retraining Fund, which was established by Li Cunxin during his time there. You can access about AUD 10,000, which I definitely used towards my studies. I also did some ballet coaching jobs during university. However, with a child and during the COVID pandemic, it was quite challenging - Daniel was also able to help support me during this time, which was amazing.
Lana: Absolutely. My own birth experience played a significant role; it was challenging yet rewarding. This personal connection has shaped my approach to midwifery. I aim to empower women, encouraging them to trust the process and believe in their capabilities. I've always wanted to support women in this way. I was in the birth suite today, and I love providing that support during labour. Having that elite sports brain, I understand the importance of goal setting and staying focused. I hope to impart that strength to the women I work with, helping them to stay focused during labour. It surprised me how my experience in ballet transferred to this role. That marriage between physical and mental states is crucial in both fields, and my ability to guide women through this process is really rewarding.
Lana: It's challenging. The unpredictability of not knowing what's going to walk through that door at any time can be tricky for someone who thrives on consistency. I'm task-oriented, so I like to start a task and then finish it. However, in this profession, I've had to adjust because that's not always possible. You might start one job but then get called away to another, leaving tasks half-finished.
When I started working as a registered midwife in February 2023, I didn't get a graduate position, which was disappointing because I knew I needed support and was worried about the transition from being a student to a registered midwife. However, I also knew that if I didn’t dive into the workforce anyway, I would potentially be too afraid to keep going.
I started working at a very busy hospital and was completely overwhelmed. I felt inadequate and unsafe, not for me, but for my patients. The learning curve was huge, but so was the stress, and I was close to quitting. I suspected it wasn’t the right place for me. However, I kept applying for other positions and was fortunate to secure a new graduate position at a smaller hospital. It's a better fit for me. I can now do the parts of this profession that I love, providing the kind of midwifery support care I want to give.
The work is still hectic and stressful at times, but at least my “why” is being fulfilled. The shift work is tough, especially overnight shifts. I don't think I'll ever enjoy that aspect, but it's a part of the job that one has to live with. I rotate through different areas, although my passion is the birth suite. I still have a long way to go before I feel like I truly know what I'm doing, but I'm told that's normal.
Don't shy away from the discomfort that comes with change.
Lana: One challenging issue is the stigma that dancers don't have any qualifications once they finish or can't earn qualifications. Some companies are starting to hold career transition seminars and workshops, which can help dancers think about their next steps or at least generate ideas. It would be beneficial to have resources like an onsite career counsellor.
Primarily, though, the mental load dancers carry from ballet could be addressed more thoroughly. Even though I didn't feel overly affected by it, you do become your environment, and we can become so self-critical. Unpacking this baggage with the support of professionals like sports psychologists could be beneficial, especially after dancers have finished their careers. Regular check-ins or follow-ups could also be important because dancers often grapple with a sense of lost identity and decreased confidence after they leave dancing. I was certain about my decision to leave ballet, but I still struggled more than I expected. People warned me it would be tough, but I was surprised by the extent of my difficulties. I felt like I had been dropped into someone else's life, which was very strange.
Some support and reassurance that these feelings are normal could go a long way in providing direction and encouragement, which I think is important as you go through a kind of grief. When you finish dancing, you crave freedom, but that freedom can be terrifying because your decisions are now entirely up to you. Dancers often experience decision paralysis because so much is decided for them in their careers, and all of a sudden they have this autonomy.
Lana: I would tell them that their skills might not be immediately obvious, but they are there. If they are pursuing something they love or are interested in, they'll uncover these skills. For instance, ballet instils resilience and discipline, both of which can be applied anywhere. Discipline can help you achieve anything.
I never foresaw myself earning a university degree. I thought I was the least likely person to do that. But if I can stick it out, anyone can. Also, you have to prepare yourself to be uncomfortable; if you keep your goal in sight, you can overcome it. Don't shy away from the discomfort that comes with change.
Lana: I think it's important to have a support system; you'll need it. There is no external validation along the way. You’ve got to dig deep and find that for yourself, find your reason for doing it. Push through it and transfer the skills you've acquired as a dancer. Initially, it may not seem like many, but more will become visible along the way. Dancers are goal-driven, so set a goal and work towards it. I think you can’t stand in any dancer’s way if they want to do something.
If you truly want to do it, you'll know it's the right decision. Sometimes, I question my choices, but then I remind myself of my achievements. It's easy to focus on what you're not good at, but sometimes it's important to stop and give yourself that recognition. When I take a step back to appreciate the good I’ve done, like providing excellent care to a family, I feel really good about it. It validates the struggles and discomfort, making it all worth it. That’s my “why.”
Top image by Lynette Wills
