Chapter 21, Sean Bates: A Journey Through Passion, Pain and Possibilities

I started ballet at the age of three, inspired by the son of my mom's friend who was taking ballet classes. I expressed my interest to my mom and, although she probably thought it would be a fleeting interest, she agreed. My passion ran deep from the start.

Looking back, I am amazed at how confidently I pursued my dream. I was set on attending The Royal Ballet School. I did audition for other places like Elmhurst and Arts Ed, Tring but they didn't feel as fitting. My parents leaned towards Elmhurst because the pastoral care seemed more progressive and with their new home in Birmingham it would’ve allowed me to use public transport and be more independent. However, I insisted The Royal was the place for me, and once accepted they drove me an hour and a half each way every weekend during my time at White Lodge, for which I am incredibly grateful. I struggled with homesickness in the beginning and missed my family a lot but The Royal Ballet School for me has so many happy memories and I’m so glad I followed my dream to go there.

If you enjoy the discipline and the learning, irrespective of whether or not you become a ballet dancer, you should find value and reward in the journey.

Boarding school can be isolating, so we knew maintaining some semblance of normality was crucial. My parents, who didn't know much about the behind-the-scenes of ballet, were very supportive. They reassured me that if I ever decided ballet wasn't for me, it would be okay. They never pressured me to succeed.

I believe it's important to value the training process. If you enjoy the discipline and the learning, irrespective of whether or not you become a ballet dancer, you should find value and reward in the journey. One has to live life without regrets. Whether it's regret for taking a chance or not taking one, you have to weigh up what you want at the moment. Predicting the future is impossible; you just have to do what feels right.

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During my graduate year of training, my ongoing back pain was finally diagnosed as stress fractures in my spine (bilateral L2 pars fracture). At first, I reduced my load more & more, then I stopped dancing in February of that year and wore a back brace day and night for the next  7 months. It was demoralising to still be feeling the same pain and for CT scans to show no improvement or healing whilst my schoolmates prepared to graduate and join their companies around the world. The injury had left me uncertain about my future, so I prepared for the worst, hoped for the best, and got a job at a call center in my hometown where my brother had previously worked.

I worked at the call center for about eight weeks in the summer. I was still experiencing back pain and other issues. Despite everything, I remained hopeful. Being positive, I held onto the dream, believing that everything would work out, including my return to school and recovery from my injury. However, as time passed, the reality became clearer. My body was not recovering, and I was struggling even with my call center job.

Only a week or two before the term started, I found out about my placement. My family had exhausted all their resources for my education. Fortunately, the school offered me a scholarship and a place, along with insurance coverage for the necessary surgery which I received in October of that year, and continued medical support following that.

When I repeated the year, I was very grateful and eager to work hard. That year was probably my best in terms of training. I went back to basics, working intensely every day with the first-year teacher, Meelis Pakri. He helped me scrutinize my movements and taught me healthier ways to move. His personal corrections were incredibly beneficial.

Everyone's body is different, and what works for one person may not work for another. Meelis noticed my unique strengths and weaknesses and helped me improve. That year was transformative for me. I learned to work more holistically and understand my body better. I had been pushing myself to breaking point, potentially worsening my injury for years so having a year where I could focus on my technique and work at my own pace was really helpful.

An injury could happen at any time, and I'm already 31. As a dancer, you need to be aware of what your next steps could be.

When I was offered a job at Northern Ballet, my family and friends, who were familiar with Northern, were so thrilled. They knew they would be able to see me perform every year on tour, so it wasn't too much of a compromise. It's such a special company—unique, with a solid sense of identity, even more so than many other companies. After a few years there I began to really settle, bought a property, fell in love with Leeds, and got married to my now husband. I was very fulfilled.

My husband and I had worked with Cathy Marston to create roles in her productions of Jane Eyre and Victoria while we were dancers at Northern Ballet. She appreciated our contributions to the studio and the atmosphere we created. She believed we might be the type of dancers she was looking for in Zurich. So, she tentatively approached us. We trusted our instincts, felt it was the right decision, and so we accepted.

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The logistics of moving country were another story, but we love Cathy and enjoy working with her. We also liked the idea of joining a new company as a lot of dancers were leaving, many heading to Berlin. We knew there would be a significant turnover at Zurich Ballet and the idea of being the first seeds of this new company sounded great. At Northern, there was also a director change, so if I’d stayed there I would’ve been looking forward to that as a new experience - working under a new person. I wasn't looking to leave, but when this opportunity arose, we jumped at it. I was very content with my life at Northern. However, I was already starting to think my dancing had little room to grow and I was contemplating my career transition and what I might do next.

Since moving abroad, my mind is now filled with new experiences. I find myself thinking about how I want to continue dancing. It's amazing, but I know it's not guaranteed. An injury could happen at any time, and I'm already 31. As a dancer, you need to be aware of what your next steps could be.

As I dance into the next chapter of my journey, the thrill of the upcoming season is palpable. I am committed to preserving this momentum, fully immersing myself in the art that I love. Although the experience here is still new and the city has yet to feel like home, I am embracing the exhilaration of the unfamiliar and the boundless possibilities it presents. I also look forward to discovering if this new city could become my long-term residence someday. For now, the dance continues, and I am eager to see where it will lead me next.

^{Top image by Riku Ito}